[Oh he is being shadier than a damn tree at the moment. Especially with the way he proceeds to ninja his way into the house through a window in the kitchen.]
I mean - [It comes out much more like a groan than he had intended for it too.] - I told Prompto. About us. And I thought he was gonna be happy for me. Not... not disappointed that it wasn't him.
I don't get it, Ignis. What is wrong with you guys?
[...ah. Ignis had always suspected that Prompto liked Noctis in more than just a friendly way. Ever since he met him back in the Crown City. Still, to hear it confirmed... that may or may not be a pang of jealousy, in the otherwise not a jealous person.
He doesn't get to focus on that though, at least not now, because what Noctis asks makes him frown.]
Wrong? Are you trying to imply that having feelings for you is wrong?
[Ironic, considering Noctis is the jealous one - yet it's Ignis that currently has two giant, Luna and Prompto sized reasons to be.]
Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know! I mean, let's be real here, I'm, well, myself. There's nothing great enough about me to have all of you feeling this way.
[Ignis tends to battle his jealousy demons in silence and away from everyone's eyes. Just a habit.]
Noct, do you hear yourself? It is true that no one is perfect, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve to be loved. That you don't deserve to be loved.
[He doesn't remember Noct ever being insecure about something like this before.]
I, [he should probably say "we" but jealousy demon eats the word,] love you because you are who you are.
[Never before had he been placed in a situation like this. Where apparently every single one of his friends was clamoring to be the one at his side. There was absolutely nothing particularly special about him past his title and all of the perks that came along with it. And who he was under all of that? He was more than aware it didn't come off as all that great.
Ignis distinctively says I and not we and Noctis can practically see the ugliness of jealousy starting to bubble up.]
[Ignis can probably cover up his jealousy with "I cannot speak in their name" type of excuse which, actually, is half true. But the other half is just that- jealousy. That he's trying not to act on.
Ignis takes Noct's chin between his thumb and index finger, making him look at him.]
Because you are a great man, Noct. Caring, selfless, friendly, understanding, accepting, non-judgemental and with a big heart. If anyone else ever even implies differently, they will find their jaws broken [by Ignis] and miss out on what an amazing person you are.
[Where Ignis' touch is usually soft and his affection gentle this feels distinctively different. Like an unspoken order communicated through touch, one that has him glancing upwards with a low gasp.]
If I'm really all of those things, then why is it all I ever cause you guys is suffering?
You do not. [Ignis tries to sound reassuring and warm and lets up on the grip, his finger trailing over Noct's cheek for a moment before he removes his hand.]
I said it once, and I'll say it as many time needed- the decisions we made were our own.
[As for the feelings- he honestly doesn't know what to say on that front. If Noct hadn't chosen to be with him, Ignis would have probably stayed quiet forever and just be happy that Noct is happy. Because that's all he wants.]
[All he does is stare, trying to get his brain to somehow compute what he's just been asked. It takes far too long and far too much effort for the question to sink in and even more to formulate an answer.]
Because... do you remember when we were young, how you used to sneak me out of the citadel so we could watch the stars? And anytime I had a nightmare, I would never run to my dad. I'd always come to you. I never feel as safe as I do when I'm with you. You make me feel like I can do anything.
Of course I remember. [As if he will ever forget something like that.] I also remember all the sweets we keep stealing before dinner; hiding under blankets during thunderstorms; playing the piano in the empty music room; sneaking into the garden to feed that stray kitten that cook took in eventually.
I remember everything, every little detail, every memory and moment we spent together. They are all precious to me in ways no one will ever understand, and I don't even care if they don't.
You were always important to me, far beyond anything in this world. [He leans his forehead against Noct's and closes his eyes,] And I'd trade the entire world, watching it burn to the ground- if it meant keeping you happy and safe.
[Each word plays within his ears, sliding down into his system and soothing the ache that had settled over his heart. Perhaps he would never fully understand why any one of them held the feelings for him that they did. Would never see within himself the things that they saw.
But it didn't matter. It didn't.
Noctis had chosen Ignis. A decision that was entirely his own. Based on a lifetime worth of moments and memories that were only held by the two of them. Built upon the foundation that had been laid within his heart and soul the very moment he had taken Ignis' hand within his own.
Inhaling deeply, he allowed his eyes to fall shut once more and leaned into it, centered himself within that warmth and closeness.]
[It's not something that could be put into words. If it were that easy, it wouldn't be as meaningful. At least that's how Ignis sees it. The memories he shares with Noctis, a time in his life that he would never replace with anything- they will forever be a bright, shining star in his mind that shows him the way. That it is Noctis who gives him strength and support whenever he needs it- in his own ~Noctis~ way.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
His hands come up to wrap around Noct's back, keeping him close and speaking in low voice,]
Then I will keep on going forward, always by your side. Staying there as long as you want me to stay. Because all I want for you, Noct, is to be happy. And I will do anything to grant you happiness.
[Always. Anything. Beautiful words that defines their love. Foundation built upon a bed of promises. So easily given it might appear unbelievable. Each one carrying so much weight that not even the strength of a hurricane mixed with a volcano could break it.
Those arms drew him in, surrounded him in warmth and comfort and kept him close. And he melted into it, surrendering to the embrace, to the power and strength of it. Breathed his faith and hope into this man which held his still beating heart within his chest.
Love was such a flimsy word. Short and weak and barely enough to explain what it was that he felt. This overwhelming, consuming fire that had been ignited deep inside of him. And he ran towards it, danced in the flames, fear the furtherest thing from his mind. Ignis was safety.
Ignis was everything.]
Marry me. [Two words. Three syllables. Slipping out and rolling off his tongue before he could ever hope to stop them.] That's what would make me happy. To be yours.
[The words of promise to always be there might sound empty to others, but to Ignis- they are as real as they are standing here, in the small kitchen of the cabin. He was always there with Noct, from the day he met him, until his last day in Altissia; and then here, too. He doesn't intend to leave his side, ever. It is probably an insane thought for the others but to Ignis, Noctis is his entire world.
Noct's words, however, knock all the air out of his lungs and make his eyes snap open. M... Marry him? Here? The logical part of his brain is instantly coming up with explanations as to why this is such a bad idea but...
...the constant darkness around them. The flickering lantern in the corner. The look in Noct's eyes and sound of his voice. What if they get reset, or devoured by World Eaters?
Ignis takes Noct's hand and places a soft kiss where his ring should be, giving him a soft look.]
I don't think there's anyone here that can marry us but... we can always exchange vows...
[A thousand different scenarios could play out within the blink of an eye. There were already so many things that Noctis held buried deep within himself as regrets. So many things that had been left unsaid. What if one of them were to die a second time? What if they weren't lucky enough to be resurrected? Could he withstand going through the motions of burying the body of this man? Of his husband?
He could. He thought he could, at least, if it carried along the knowledge that they had spent the time they had been given well. If this wasn't simply one more thing to add to the ever growing pile of suffering that rested upon his shoulders.]
That's okay. [Breathless now, heart preparing to beat through his ribs and out of his chest from the overwhelming excitement and never ending love and devotion he felt.] Let's do it, Iggy. Down by the water. Just the two of us.
[He's run those scenarios too, in his head, wondering if he could find a way to make their time here as worth as possible. Back when they were alive, they were fearful of the future, but managing to find the means to handle it day after day. Right now, he's dreading it, not wanting to accept the fact that one day, there might not be a chance for him to see these beautiful blue eyes ever again.
Ignis never wants to add to the burden Noct is wearing, only lessen it, if he can. There's a smile on his face when he brings up the dock and water and Ignis nods.]
I think it's the perfect place for it. [He kisses Noct's forehead.] We should probably wait a while until the dock is built. [There's a lot of people down there right now and Ignis wants to avoid them. His vows to Noct are for his ears alone.]
[Something very near a soft whine rises up in his throat at the thought of having to wait, especially when everything within him wanted nothing more than to take Ignis' hand and rush off down towards the water this very instant.]
Can we at least pick a date? Maybe sometime after Christmas.
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[There are carrots in there, Iggy. Carrots.]
Are you by yourself?
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[Again- suspicious.]
Yes. Is there a problem, Noct?
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[Oh he is being shadier than a damn tree at the moment. Especially with the way he proceeds to ninja his way into the house through a window in the kitchen.]
Can I ask you something?
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It's where Ignis is when Noct shows up, making sure that all the bottles and bags are in order and easy to find.]
Of course, Noct. [he steps out,] What's on your mind?
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What do all of you people see in me?
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Hm? [Ignis blinks, confused.]
What do you mean, Noct?
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I don't get it, Ignis. What is wrong with you guys?
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He doesn't get to focus on that though, at least not now, because what Noctis asks makes him frown.]
Wrong? Are you trying to imply that having feelings for you is wrong?
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Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know! I mean, let's be real here, I'm, well, myself. There's nothing great enough about me to have all of you feeling this way.
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Noct, do you hear yourself? It is true that no one is perfect, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve to be loved. That you don't deserve to be loved.
[He doesn't remember Noct ever being insecure about something like this before.]
I, [he should probably say "we" but jealousy demon eats the word,] love you because you are who you are.
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Ignis distinctively says I and not we and Noctis can practically see the ugliness of jealousy starting to bubble up.]
Yeah? And what's so great about who I am?
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Ignis takes Noct's chin between his thumb and index finger, making him look at him.]
Because you are a great man, Noct. Caring, selfless, friendly, understanding, accepting, non-judgemental and with a big heart. If anyone else ever even implies differently, they will find their jaws broken [by Ignis] and miss out on what an amazing person you are.
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If I'm really all of those things, then why is it all I ever cause you guys is suffering?
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I said it once, and I'll say it as many time needed- the decisions we made were our own.
[As for the feelings- he honestly doesn't know what to say on that front. If Noct hadn't chosen to be with him, Ignis would have probably stayed quiet forever and just be happy that Noct is happy. Because that's all he wants.]
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That still doesn't explain why all of you are so in love with me.
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I could ask you the same. Why do you like me?
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Because... do you remember when we were young, how you used to sneak me out of the citadel so we could watch the stars? And anytime I had a nightmare, I would never run to my dad. I'd always come to you. I never feel as safe as I do when I'm with you. You make me feel like I can do anything.
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I remember everything, every little detail, every memory and moment we spent together. They are all precious to me in ways no one will ever understand, and I don't even care if they don't.
You were always important to me, far beyond anything in this world. [He leans his forehead against Noct's and closes his eyes,] And I'd trade the entire world, watching it burn to the ground- if it meant keeping you happy and safe.
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But it didn't matter. It didn't.
Noctis had chosen Ignis. A decision that was entirely his own. Based on a lifetime worth of moments and memories that were only held by the two of them. Built upon the foundation that had been laid within his heart and soul the very moment he had taken Ignis' hand within his own.
Inhaling deeply, he allowed his eyes to fall shut once more and leaned into it, centered himself within that warmth and closeness.]
A world without you isn't worth saving.
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And he wouldn't have it any other way.
His hands come up to wrap around Noct's back, keeping him close and speaking in low voice,]
Then I will keep on going forward, always by your side. Staying there as long as you want me to stay. Because all I want for you, Noct, is to be happy. And I will do anything to grant you happiness.
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Those arms drew him in, surrounded him in warmth and comfort and kept him close. And he melted into it, surrendering to the embrace, to the power and strength of it. Breathed his faith and hope into this man which held his still beating heart within his chest.
Love was such a flimsy word. Short and weak and barely enough to explain what it was that he felt. This overwhelming, consuming fire that had been ignited deep inside of him. And he ran towards it, danced in the flames, fear the furtherest thing from his mind. Ignis was safety.
Ignis was everything.]
Marry me. [Two words. Three syllables. Slipping out and rolling off his tongue before he could ever hope to stop them.] That's what would make me happy. To be yours.
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Noct's words, however, knock all the air out of his lungs and make his eyes snap open. M... Marry him? Here? The logical part of his brain is instantly coming up with explanations as to why this is such a bad idea but...
...the constant darkness around them. The flickering lantern in the corner. The look in Noct's eyes and sound of his voice. What if they get reset, or devoured by World Eaters?
Ignis takes Noct's hand and places a soft kiss where his ring should be, giving him a soft look.]
I don't think there's anyone here that can marry us but... we can always exchange vows...
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He could. He thought he could, at least, if it carried along the knowledge that they had spent the time they had been given well. If this wasn't simply one more thing to add to the ever growing pile of suffering that rested upon his shoulders.]
That's okay. [Breathless now, heart preparing to beat through his ribs and out of his chest from the overwhelming excitement and never ending love and devotion he felt.] Let's do it, Iggy. Down by the water. Just the two of us.
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Ignis never wants to add to the burden Noct is wearing, only lessen it, if he can. There's a smile on his face when he brings up the dock and water and Ignis nods.]
I think it's the perfect place for it. [He kisses Noct's forehead.] We should probably wait a while until the dock is built. [There's a lot of people down there right now and Ignis wants to avoid them. His vows to Noct are for his ears alone.]
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Can we at least pick a date? Maybe sometime after Christmas.
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